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Millie’s Blog

A Letter to my Favourite Yogis

I completed my CYT 200  at the end of 2016 in the breathtaking jungle of Costa Rica. The ups and downs since then have been countless and as I move forward in my life, I cherish this inexplicable bond with all the beautiful souls I met during training. I guess speaking to them even through the veil of social media brings me comfort  through my struggles and my joys.    Perhaps this connection was unavoidable after sharing an intense 18 days in the jungle.   In this post, I share a letter I wrote to my fellow classmates in hopes that you will  feel comfortable sharing your experiences with your own tribes. Honestly, I thought my life would be miserable if anyone around me really knew how much I struggled. Well, it turned out not to be the case. All I ever got in return was love, support and a whole lot of laughter. Be raw, be you and speak up.

“It’s been a while... it’s been a long while. Last year I left my office career behind and started on my own, teaching yoga, teaching workshops, working more than ever to achieve my goals of being self employed. I left a career I had outgrown and was hoping for this big life changing moment. Well, it never came. It all went up in flames actually... literally within a month, the studio burned down. I struggled for a few months, did freelance work, pushed yoga out of my life and went back to an office job for stability, for the means to move forward and into my own place, to have health benefits, etc. 

And you know what?! I burned out again. (Anyone see the pitta disorder here?!?) Now, I look at my life with this high salary, health benefits, stable schedule, etc. All the things I was told I should have to be happy and I HATE IT. I have hardly stepped on my mat since training and I feel empty. I’m stubborn to say the least and life brought me exactly where I needed to be, it brought me to the realization that I am meant for something different, outside of the box. That I am meant to carve a path of my own. There will be struggles, my inner control freak will likely be upset for a while and you know what, that’s fine. 

You know what else I know now? I know that this experience, with you all, in the jungle didn’t change me one bit. Not one single shred of me changed. I did, however, get reintroduced to myself, the real Mylène. This woman who had been held back by the version of me I had crafted to achieve what other people had told me was success. 

I remember you all, I remember our training and most of all, I remember who I was when I left CR. When I forget or doubt, I remember you. I remember the Mylène you all helped me reconnect with through love, sweat and mosquito bites. It took me this long to see it. It took me this freaking long but I’m here. Nice to meet you all again. 

🙏🏻 Namaste”

Mylene Lefebvre